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Godzilla chaser!

smftexas86

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I LOL'D

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/cto/4258698259.html

What you're looking at is a LEGEND. This is no squeeky, rickity old HEEP or 'posh' MALL ROVER that breaks down when the going gets tough.

This is the ORIGINAL WORLD FAMOUS 80 series TOYOTA LAND CRUISER. The 1991 FJ80. Or as the Japanese like to call it, RANDO KURUZA! That is no joke. Just saying that name stirs up GODZILLA so you should probably GTFO of the way because it might just RUN OVER your little Suzuki Samu-what without even knowing it.

Driving in this will make your chest hair grow longer and bald spots more fertile than the Idaho potato farms. The first mullet haired maiden you look at will marry you and you will have not one off-spring but TWINS because that is the price RANDO KURUZA would ask from you.

Do you know what the ENTIRE freaking African Sahara, Congo, Kalahari and everything worth its salt on the PLANET drives when they just HAVE to get somewhere? You got that right it, Jenny, they ride the hill crushing LAND CRUISER.

The LAND CRUISER does not have time for the word "CAN'T" when it's busy chasing billy goats down the Himalayan mountains, or casually crunching over male Lion dung out in the bush, hunting some water buffalo with the driver's torso bouncing out of that man sized sun roof. MAN sized sun roof. Is there an echo? And it even has a ROOF RACK so you can tie that beast down when you're done fiddling around with your rifle and posing next to your trophy "4-Wheeler." Because real MEN don't POSE. They DO. And you will TOO, when you shift the transfer case into 'HI' with your clammy little pedicured feet on that throttle pedal.

And when your rich buddies are soaking in the rain waiting for a tow truck to haul their MALL ROVER RISK-Oh 2 for the 5th time this month, you can drive up and laugh at their expense for 23 minutes then tell them to get back in the CAVERNOUS 3rd ROW DUNCE seats because 2nd row is for your dog and anything smarter.

Don't be fooled into thinking this is some kind of "beater" or "hoopty." When GODZILLA took a dump after eating half of Tokyo, what do you think was left to fight him? Not the faded vinyl camo wrap falling off from the monster's stomach acid. Think harder, Trudy. It was the 4700 pound BRUTE FORCE ON 4 WHEELS pounding Godzilla's intestines with the thunder of 155 HORSES from that indestructible 4-liter 6 cylinder Sabre Tooth Tiger crammed inside its ladder frame. That's what. Just turning the ignition makes Godzilla belch PLASMA FLAMES uncontrollably from indigestion thinking of that day.

Did you get that 'little' detail? This is FULL TIME FOUR WHEEL DRIVE, not some piddly little part time wannabe that you can 'pop' into 4-low and pretend to go off-roading in your independently sprung twigs you call a suspension. This California's nightmare rides on SOLID AXLES only, so you better not high center that bulbous diff case on a rock or you'll get a 54mm socket smashed on the back of the neck because you forgot your hi-lift jack. This is not some cushy crossover car-based leather bag you're too scared to drive in the rain. This is the real deal. Do you think you can handle that, Cletus?

You know how to contact me. It's that little thing up there that says REPLY. It's that obvious.

Do it, or you will die regretting never having the honor of driving a REAL MANLY MAN OFF-ROAD TRUCK.

** And yes, the plates and inspection sticker are up to date. It shifts and runs like it's supposed to. A/C & Heat work. It has 4 brand new Falken A/T tires. It will drive to Greenland if you can pay a ferry to take you there. How you get back will be another story.

If you feel you're up for some nature wrangling, $2400 or your best offer is what it takes.

Come look at the truck before drawing any conclusions. I am selling because I need cash asap for a house, and without the shelter of a garage I have no more time to service the Land Cruiser.
 

hrspwr236

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Hilarious, what a heep of &! $# and I love how one picture has the plate blacked out while the other isn't nice attemp!
 

Torspd

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Reminds me of the guy who was selling the 240. These guys are creative.
 

BSP06XRU

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HAHA! At least he was having fun writing the ad!


By the threat title, I thought you were going to post the trailer for the upcoming movie:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECUbuBrbP1g"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECUbuBrbP1g[/ame]
 
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