That sucks. There's gotta be a way to deactivate that. Most new cars even have a way to do it yourself. The problem is that since it's a factory "upgrade" system it probably has very little if any adjustments. And even if it can be changed, the dealership will probably want a few hundred dollars to plug into the truck and press a few keys. Factory "premium" security and audio systems are usually only good for making stuff a major pain in the ass.
And yes, that's probably what keeps making your headlights go out. It's really hard on hid bulbs to come on and off alot in a short period of time. Worst case scenario, buy a kit from Ddmtuning and 1 or 2 extra sets of bulbs. Whenever one goes out, put your extra set in and send the busted ones back. They'll send you new ones cause they're lifetime warranty. Then when the others go out, swap em and get a new set again. Lol