X-Caliber
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- May 21, 2008
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The Great Deer Hunt
Saturday
1:00 am Alarm clock rings
2:00 am Hunting partners arrive throw you out of bed.
2:30 am Throw everything but the kitchen sink in the pickup
3:00 am Leave for the deep woods.
3:15 am Drive back home - pick up gun.
3:30 am Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight.
4:00 am Set up camp - forgot the damn tent.
4:30 am Head out into woods.
6:05 am See 8 deer.
6:06 am Take careful aim and 'squeeeeze' trigger.
6:07 am CLICK!
6:08 am Load gun while watching 8 deer go over hill.
8:00 am Head back to camp.
9:00 am Still looking for camp.
10:00 am Realize you don't know where camp is.
NOON Fire gun for help - eat wild berries.
12:15 pm Ran out of bullets - 8 deer return to watch.
12:20pm Realize the berries you ate were poison.
12:45 pm RESCUED!
12:55 pm Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
3:00 pm Arrive back at camp.
3:30 pm Leave camp to kill deer.
4:00 pm Return to camp for bullets.
4:01 pm Load gun - leave camp again.
5:00 pm Empty gun at squirrel that's been bugging you.
6:00 pm Arrive back at camp - see deer grazing at camp.
6:01 pm Load gun.
6:02 pm Fire gun.
6:03 pm One dead pickup truck.
6:04 pm Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer.
6:06 pm Suppress overwhelming desire to shoot hunting partner.
6:07 pm Trip over partner's deer - fall into fire.
6:10 pm Change clothes - throw burned ones into fire.
6:15 pm Take pickup - leave partner and his damn deer in the woods.
6:25 pm Pickup boils over - hole shot in block.
6:26 pm Start walking.
6:30 pm Stumble and fall - drop gun in mud.
6:35 pm Meet bear.
6:36 pm Take aim (self defense you know)
6:37 pm Fire gun - blow up barrel plugged with mud.
6:38 pm Wet pants.
6:39 pm Climb tree.
9:00 pm Bear departs.
9:15 pm Climb out of tree - wrap %&$%#@&@#% gun around tree.
MIDNIGHT Home at last.
Sunday Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing license into very little
pieces, place pieces into envelope and mail to game warden with
very precise instructions as to where he should place them.
I found this while trying to look for a phone number online earlier today at work - I thought we can all share a little pain with this unfortunate hunter, Because somewhere through his day, We were in his same shoes.
-X
Saturday
1:00 am Alarm clock rings
2:00 am Hunting partners arrive throw you out of bed.
2:30 am Throw everything but the kitchen sink in the pickup
3:00 am Leave for the deep woods.
3:15 am Drive back home - pick up gun.
3:30 am Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight.
4:00 am Set up camp - forgot the damn tent.
4:30 am Head out into woods.
6:05 am See 8 deer.
6:06 am Take careful aim and 'squeeeeze' trigger.
6:07 am CLICK!
6:08 am Load gun while watching 8 deer go over hill.
8:00 am Head back to camp.
9:00 am Still looking for camp.
10:00 am Realize you don't know where camp is.
NOON Fire gun for help - eat wild berries.
12:15 pm Ran out of bullets - 8 deer return to watch.
12:20pm Realize the berries you ate were poison.
12:45 pm RESCUED!
12:55 pm Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
3:00 pm Arrive back at camp.
3:30 pm Leave camp to kill deer.
4:00 pm Return to camp for bullets.
4:01 pm Load gun - leave camp again.
5:00 pm Empty gun at squirrel that's been bugging you.
6:00 pm Arrive back at camp - see deer grazing at camp.
6:01 pm Load gun.
6:02 pm Fire gun.
6:03 pm One dead pickup truck.
6:04 pm Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer.
6:06 pm Suppress overwhelming desire to shoot hunting partner.
6:07 pm Trip over partner's deer - fall into fire.
6:10 pm Change clothes - throw burned ones into fire.
6:15 pm Take pickup - leave partner and his damn deer in the woods.
6:25 pm Pickup boils over - hole shot in block.
6:26 pm Start walking.
6:30 pm Stumble and fall - drop gun in mud.
6:35 pm Meet bear.
6:36 pm Take aim (self defense you know)
6:37 pm Fire gun - blow up barrel plugged with mud.
6:38 pm Wet pants.
6:39 pm Climb tree.
9:00 pm Bear departs.
9:15 pm Climb out of tree - wrap %&$%#@&@#% gun around tree.
MIDNIGHT Home at last.
Sunday Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing license into very little
pieces, place pieces into envelope and mail to game warden with
very precise instructions as to where he should place them.
I found this while trying to look for a phone number online earlier today at work - I thought we can all share a little pain with this unfortunate hunter, Because somewhere through his day, We were in his same shoes.
-X
